Hope

When we are truly overwhelmed...

We have to hold onto HOPE...

Hope that....

The sun will rise again tomorrow....

that it can't rain forever...

Tears will dry...

Smiles will return...

Happiness is only a breath away....

I think right now, for me, and a lot of people I know (or stalk on blogger), that finding our "light" has becoming harder and harder...

Stress does that...

Life gets in the way....

The breaths do not come as quickly..

The happiness is felt few and far between...

But, 

We are all going to get there...

Each and every one of us...

Even though sometimes, personally, I feel like it's a short and fleeting moment.

Life is hard.

It is hard for everyone...

even the ones who project a "perfect" existence.

If life were meant to be easy...

there would be no famine, no war, no poverty...

We'd all be freaking millionaires who didn't have to do a darn thing.

My strength is kicking in as I type this:

HOLD ON FRIENDS...

KEEP PUSHING THROUGH THE STORM...

FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU KNOW YOU DESERVE....

STRIVE TOWARDS THE FINISH....

It may not be the time you wanted it to happen...

But, we are still going to cross that lien...

And then...

We are going to try like hell to keep moving forward.

Look Back...

Move Forward...

Everyday...

IF 

ONLY

FOR
ONE

STEP

Realizing that I'm not the cool one....

I've always known it...

I'm the loner...

I'm the outcast...

I have always had a hard time making, and keeping friends...

In my house growing up, we weren't raised to have the best social skills.

As an adult, I am doing better. 

I have a handful of friends I see...on a quasi-regular basis...

And, I have all of you!

(right?)

Today, we had an "Employee Appreciation" luncheon....

I always feel a little panicky at these luncheons...

I'm never quite sure if I will be that person,

sitting alone, at a table with people who don't even know I exist.

Due to this fact,

I thought ahead...

I made plans with fellow work friends..

And we managed to all be able to sit together at the luncheon...

One hurdle down...

Next hurdle...

I don't hear out of my left ear..

I've had 80% hearing loss since I was a little girl.

You'd never know it...

It's one of those things that is an unseen (and pardon the pun, unheard) affliction.

When I sit at a table..

in a crowded room...

I can't even hear the person next to me...

At all...

I'm always the person saying:

"Huh? Whatcha say?"

People must think I'm rude...

I'm sitting inches from them, 

and don't hear them...

I must not care what they have to say...

These are things that go through my mind.

I was able to  fake it today....

I smiled and nodded through a lot of conversation.

I didn't really hear much of it...

And, because of that...

I didn't add much to conversation...

It's an awful cycle.

But, I got through it nonetheless...

Next hurdle cleared...

Karissa...

I've spoken about her a time or two...

She's a work "friend"... 

But, she is a very overwhelming personality.

She likes to be the center...

the life...

and if the focus isn't on her..

She gets a little ghetto about it.

I think she likes to talk big.. and make herself known...

due to lack of confidence in herself...

But, that's just my opinion...

At one point, she asked a question..

Which I actually heard...

So, I was able to answer it...

Which led to her not liking the answer..

and saying how it SHOULD be done (by her standards)...

The whole time, it sounded like she was reprimanding me...

People were staring.

I had to stop her, and say...

"You don't like it... The is right over there...I bet he would love to hear your opinion." 

And, then I shut down...

Put my face into my phone...

and updated my weightloss App...

She didn't like that...

But, I don't like being treated like that...

Thank God, my friend Lissa changed the subject.

Thank God.

Otherwise..

Looks could kill...

You know what I mean...

So now,

after a Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwich,

I am back at my desk..

"Working"....

(well, working on this post is a type of work... right?)

It just hits me that 

I will never be the cool one...

I will never know the exact right thing to say...

I will never be seen as that sparkling personality...

Just the weird one.

I'll always be the loner...

And, honestly...

I'm kind of good with that....

Too much drama comes with all that popularity...

Well,

at least that's what I'm going to say to myself. 

What about you?

What situations do you feel the most socially awkward in?

How do you get through it?

 

Looking Back

They say you should never look back.

I never quite know how to take that.

Looking back, and moving forward...

That can't be harmful...

Can it?

How can you see how far you have come, if you don't occasionally look back?

People have been asking me if I see a change in my body.

The truth is:

Kind of.

I notice that my love handles are smaller.

I notice that I don't feel as uncomfortable sitting in a pair of dress slacks.

I spend time looking at myself.

Even when I was chunkier.

Women do that... don't they?

Look at what they like...

What they don't like...

But, even with these little changes...

I am not really noticing it, the way people are letting on...

And then...

I looked at pictures from our trip to Disney...

(remember, just before New Years?)

And, I saw it.

I looked back...

And saw how far I have come.

Motivation kicks in.

Pride follows suit.

even with 7 lbs to go..

I know I will get there.

I feel great.

I know I look great.

So...

I guess it depends what we are talking about...

Looking back..

Can sometimes be a good thing.

Busy like a bee...

This week is technically a four day week for me...

There is a lot going on, and I have to take Friday off...

But, due to that... I have to pack a weeks worth of work into 3-4 days...

On top of that, next week, we will most likely close on the house...

SO:

I have to technically pack 2 weeks of work... into 3-4 days.

I hate to scramble...

I hate to feel like I am going so fast, that I may make an error.

Now, that, I have shared that.

Please understand if I have sporadic posts...

I will make it up when I can.

Much Love.

Chicken Salad Recipe... and Great News

So which do you want to read about first...

The chicken salad recipe?

Or the great news?

Oh, the great news?!

Really?

I couldn't have guessed!

Great news is:

We will be closing on our new house..

During the week of May 20th.

Still hammering out the date.

Can't wait.

This means we are, figuratively, 10 days from being in our new home.

This has certainly been a journey!

Moving on to the yummy section of this post:

Healthy - Low Cal - Parmaesan Basil Chicken Salad

INGREDIENTS:

2 cans (10 oz.) Chicken Breast

1 cup Plain Yogurt

1 cup Basil, Chopped

As much garlic cloves as you can stand (I'm using 4-5), Crushed

3 Stalks of Celery, Chopped

1/4 cup Parmaesan Cheese, Grated ***

Combine, Stir around, Refrigerate, Eat.

(*** - I recommend using a good brand of parmaesan. This way, the flavor will go a long way, with such a little amount of it. So, in conclusion, the stinkier the grating cheese the better.)

Nutritional Information:

1 serving = 1/2 cup

Calories: 172.5

Fat (g): 5.6

Carbs (g): 4.5

Protein (g): 25.4

I plan to put this on top of a green salad.

Should be super tasty!

Also, it could go on a pita, or a wrap... or just about anything.

I am contemplating heating it up as well....

That's what we will be eating for dinner, during the next work week.

This past week, we've been eating

Grilled Citrus Tofu Kabobs.

By we... I mean mostly me.

It was a great experiment...

But, the men folk, weren't too happy about it.

You marinate extra firm tofu in Orange Juice and Hot Sauce, for about 2 hours...

Then you skewer Mandarin Oranges, Snap Peas, and the Tofu.

Place on a grill pan, or a stove top grill...

Cook until firm.

I liked it.

My dad threw a bunch of soy sauce on it, and took it to work.

Klay...

Well....

He smiled and said no thank you.

So, this week, the healthy chicken salad is a peace offering...

I think I stepped over the healthy meal line by bringing Tofu into the house.

Hahaha.

What about you?

Do you cook meals in advance?

What do you look for when planning your weekly meals?

The perfect mother...a gift for mother's worldwide!

 

There isn't one...

I'm sure we all know that by now...

But, does that stop some from trying like hell to portray that image?
No.. Trust me... It doesn't.

Whether it's via blog.. in person (shrieks)... or on the phone...
Mothers have always, in one way or another, tried to one up, or down talk each other.

And, quite frankly, It fucking sucks.

Yup. I dropped an F-bomb... So what?

I read a lot of mom blogs..

I know a lot of mothers...

You read, and hear some pretty messed up shit.

You can, also, if you are not thick skinned, lose a lot of sleep 

and a butt load of self-confidence 

over what other mothers say.

With Mother's Day rapidly approaching, I was pondering with the best Mother's Day gift could be... 

WORLDWIDE.

Your children, and families will dote on you personally..

But, what can we do... For other mothers??????

I have an idea!

EUREKA!

We can join forces... and stop BASHING each other!

We can realize that we all are different!

And there are NONE... let me repeat that word

THERE ARE NONE AMONG US THAT ARE PERFECT.

Advice is one thing.

Down right bashing will be completely unacceptable and FLOG worthy.

I am tired of reading an article, and/or speaking around other parents 

who tell me I am wrong.

Last time I checked..

There was no freaking manual to parenting.

And 

Oh, also the last time I checked...

My son isn't the devil...

Can hold a normal conversation (even if sometimes he uses his "adult voice")...

Is intelligent and creative...

And to me... I think that's all that matters.

So for Mother's Day...

Make it a point, you mothers out there, to stop Mom-Bashing in its tracks.

Our styles may differ, but I hope, our intentions are all the same:

To raise a child (or children) who will be happy, smart, and healthy.

Who do not bully..

Who do not judge others...

Who are helpful, and kind...

Funny, and Strong...

Beautiful and Handsome.. Just as much on the inside as the outside.

When Mama Is Angry

You run...
That should be a rule...

When Mama is Angry... You run away.

You stay off the radar...

Yesterday, after work...

I was angry.

And, I'm not sure why...

The day was long.

But, not copiously long.

The day was busy...

But, not enough to get me to where I was...

And, it didn't help that Emry was using is "Adult Voice".

Yup, my son has an "Adult Voice".

Confused?

Let me explain:

With Emry being the only child, there are times where he thinks he can talk to me the way an adult would.... an adult who has very little respect for me, and my intelligence.

He, unintentionally, sounds rude....

When he uses what I call the "Adult Voice", every time he responds to me...

It starts with the word "No."

I don't know about you other mothers out there...

But, for me, My 6 year old telling me I'm 10000% wrong about everything...
Really

Fricking

Gets

To
Me.

I lost my cool.

And, I told him that I was sick of his mouth... him speaking to me that way, and the he will always be the damn (yes, I said damn to my 6 year old) child in the house.

That he needs to stop speaking to me, like I am stupid...Because I freaking hate it.

And, it would not be tolerated anymore.

As, I said... I am about 98% positive that he doesn't mean to be rude or disrespectful...

But, I correct this a lot.

A FREAKING LOT.

And, since when my dad, Klay and I speak... 9 times out of 10 we are being sarcastic to each other...
So, it is my fault that when Emry tries to talk above his age, that he sounds like us.

I know it's my fault.

I was just so angry yesterday.

I was tired.

I was overwhelmed.

And, Mama makes mistakes.

All the time.

So, when Mama is angry...

Steer Clear...

For all of our safety.

*Sighs*

Hate having to apologize to my kid.

Hate losing my cool.

I know it's normal.

But, I just wish it didn't happen...